


Teacher

by wildwinterwitch



Series: Cloisters [8]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Baby!Fic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 22:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwinterwitch/pseuds/wildwinterwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose makes a terrifying discovery. Unable to open up to the Doctor, she does what he has taught her: run.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teacher

Shifting Tom as he sat on my hip, I stood watching the TARDIS dematerialise in the corner room. The Doctor was going to spend a fortnight or so at the Imperial University in Sammu together with Fenia. She had been very reluctant to travel with the Doctor in the TARDIS. It was understandable, and I would have preferred it if they’d travelled to Sammu on the slow path, but given the fact that the city was on the other side of the world that would have taken them almost a week each way.

Tayar was standing next to me, with Ani in his arms. His face was a stony mask, but when Ani complained about his strong grip, it slipped and his expression softened. “Sorry, _pati_.”

Ani kissed his cheek and rested her head against his shoulder. “When is mama going to come back?” she asked.

“It’ll be a while, _pati_.”

“I’m thirsty.”

“I’ve got some juice,” I said. “Would you like some?”

Ani nodded. We went to the kitchen, where I got the bottle of juice from the pot-in-pot fridge and poured each of us a cup of the slightly fizzy drink. It was very refreshing, and I watched the children as they sat on the bench at the table, sipping their juice and experimenting with the sounds their breaths made in the hollow of the cups. Tayar hadn’t spoken a word, and I didn’t know what to say.

His unhappiness about Fenia in the TARDIS was palpable, and there was nothing I could say to really reassure him. I could just hope that he’d relax a little when the Doctor and Fenia called. I had my mobile in my pocket, and just as I was about to sit down myself, it vibrated against my hip.

“Hey, you,” I said as the Doctor appeared on the screen. He had gotten me a new one so we could use the video conference function. The Doctor was grinning widely.

“We’ve safe and sound,” he said.

I smiled. Of course they were. “I think Tayar would like to talk to Fenia,” I said.

Tayar, still in awe of the mobile, touched the screen as Fenia appeared. I couldn’t see her face, but I’d known the two of them long enough to know that sometimes they mirrored each other’s expression. “ _Tok nuu sa?_ ”

“ _B’aruu,_ ” Fenia said.

“What’s Sammu like?” he asked. What he wanted to ask was what travelling in the blue box had been like, but for some reason he didn’t dare. I blushed a little and left to give him some privacy. It was, after all, a seminal moment for them, no matter how often the Doctor and I had travelled in the TARDIS and shown them that it was safe. Tayar and Fenia still had trouble understanding that losing Yoru wasn’t the ship’s fault. That if anyone was to blame, it was the Doctor and I.

I sat on my daybed in the loggia and picked up the book I had been reading. It was _kitallun_ , and while I was exhausted, I was filled with that kind of restlessness that made it impossible to entertain myself for any length of time. It also meant I was unable to settle down for a nap. Despite the heaviness of my limbs I was anxious to get back to the shop. There was work enough there to keep me occupied for weeks, and my patrons would certainly appreciate it if they got their books back early.

I put the book down and stood to go to the bathroom.

“Rose.”

I turned around in time to see Tom barreling towards me. I crouched to catch him, lifting him up to sit on my hip. “Rose!” he said. “I talked to mama.”

“Did you?” I said. “What did she say?”

“She’s going to bring us a surprise,” he said excitedly.

I kissed his temple. “I’m sure she’ll find something very special for you,” I said. Then, addressing Tayar, I asked, “ _Tok nuu sa?_ ”

He nodded, returning the mobile to me. “I think we’d better go. The _nimi_ need their nap.”

As I was about to close the door behind them, Tayar turned around. “You look a bit peaky. Are you all right?”

I nearly froze. If Tayar picked up on it, then the Doctor certainly would have; depending, of course, on how distracted he was by the trip. “It’s just that time of the month,” I told him. Or at least it was supposed to be, but then he didn’t know that.

“Ah. You should get some rest,” he said.

I didn’t have it in me to nod when I knew I was going to go back to the shop to work. Sighing, he kissed my cheek. “Oh Rose.” Then he left.

-:-

I was as regular as clockwork, and had been even after I’d stopped taking the pill. We’d been trying for a baby for so long that I was only mildly disappointed to find blood stains in my knickers every month. I’d been so wanting a baby, but the longer it took the more relieved I was when I wasn’t pregnant. The idea of having another baby filled me with longing as well as with terror. I didn’t think I’d survive another loss.

Also, I was scared of the Doctor’s reaction. When he’d found out about Jonah he had been very negative at first because becoming a father meant another loss for him, another loved one he’d outlive, another reminder of his loneliness. And it had proven true, particularly when we found out that Jonah was a completely human baby. Why he wanted another child was beyond me. I also wondered what went through his head each month when I’d shake my head as I left the bathroom. But the fact that it was days before we made love again, said a lot. Sometimes it felt as though we’d made an unspoken agreement to never have sex again, or that I’d start taking the pill again to save ourselves the possible pain. But of course we hadn’t.

I wondered if the Doctor already knew that I was pregnant. We had made love the previous night, and as always on such occasions the Doctor had tasted me. He loved lapping at me, and he’d driven me over the edge quite forcefully before he had pushed into me without giving me a moment to catch my breath. He did that occasionally because he knew I’d come even harder without a break. It was a bit of his possessive streak I was familiar with from my first Doctor, and if things were very intense, like last night, he’d fuck me silly. It made me wonder if I ever held such power over him.

I would have loved to accompany him, but I had received so many orders and commissions that there was no way I could leave for a fortnight’s holiday. Now I was glad. The conference gave me a chance to adjust to the idea that I might be pregnant again. Maybe I was just a tad late because I was so absorbed by work.

-:-

By the time the Doctor returned I had bled a little and expected to experience the whole drama of a fully-blown period the next time. I’d spent a lot of time working while he was away and had refined the techniques I’d learned in San Girolamo and working with Tayar. The Observatory Library was one of my best patrons because Tayar had discovered the potential of my ideas. He told anyone who’d listen how good my bindings were, how durable and yet beautiful. My shop prospered and soon I had a reputation as a book doctor.

The Doctor wrapped his arms around me once the over-excited Pagao family, thrilled to have Fenia back, had left. He whispered, concern lacing his voice, “You haven’t been eating.”

“Too much work and not enough time to cook,” I said, burying my nose in the crook of his neck to inhale his smell of soap and marble halls. I had missed him so.

I hadn’t eaten properly, either because of lack of time, or because of lack of appetite. I had, however, eaten lots of fruit and salad, which was not really enough to keep my weight up, let alone put on more. I could see that he wanted to say something, but then he lifted me up and whirled me around. “It’s so good to be back.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him. “I need you,” I said.

He carried me to our bedroom and gently sat me down on the bed. After he had taken off my cardigan, he trailed his fingers over the satin of the ribbons tied around my midriff, and he looked so intensely at me that he sent shivers down my spine.

“What is it, Doctor?” I asked.

“I love you so much, Rose.”

“Take off your clothes,” I said, barely able to speak because of the wild fluttering in my stomach. His words had also sent a rush of excitement to my sex and I could feel my knickers dampen.

The Doctor began to undress quickly; in winter he tended to go back to his layers, but I enjoyed watching him reveal his body bit by bit. Finally, he stood before me naked and his cock stirring. I hummed in appreciation.

“Lie back,” he growled.

I sucked in a breath. This was going to be intense. I lay back where I sat, my feet still on the floor. He knelt to remove my shoes; his hands were cool as he took my feet into his hands, even through the material of the stockings. Then he ran his hands up my legs beneath the skirt to the tops of the stockings. I gasped as his _malialion_ fingers touched my skin. Then he flipped the material of my skirt up so he could look at what he was already seeing with his fingers.

“You’re so beautiful, _ngudia sam_ ,” he said, placing a ribbon of kisses above the lace trimmings.

I moaned and dropped my hand into his hair to encourage him. He ran his hands up and down the silk covering my legs, kissing and nibbling at my flesh. In the process, he nudged the damp crotch of my knickers with his nose several times, and once or twice he blew over it, making me moan and gasp.

“Doctor.”

He’d had enough. “Lift your bum.” As I did, he hooked his fingers into the elastic of my knickers and pulled them down and off my legs. I expected him to take off the stockings as well, but they stayed on as he gently pushed my knees apart. He hummed, running his fingers and then his lips along my folds, causing me to buck into him. He began to trace his tongue along me, avoiding my clit for as long as possible. He could never resist me long.

And then he pushed his tongue inside me.

I arched into him with a gurgling sound and my fingers tightening in his hair. He flicked his tongue against me and sucked on me, hooking my legs over his arms so he had more room. Both his hands were splayed beneath the material of my skirt on my hipbones, cupping them as he so often did when he used his tongue to keep me still.

I loosened my grip, cupping the back of his head instead to encourage him. Not that he needed it, but sometimes he was silly and afraid to give too much. I couldn’t get enough.

“ _Rovalionn ti, yamu’sati,_ ” I moaned, somehow managing to push myself onto my elbows. I hadn’t noticed how sensitive my nipples were until then , but as the material of the bodice brushed over them my eyes fluttered shut. They weren’t often that tender.

The Doctor looked up, his chin and his dark eyes glistening in the dim light of our bedroom. My heart swelled and I was overcome by the idea that I’d never be able to show him just how much I’d missed him and how much I loved him. “I love you, Doctor,” I said.

“ _Tamonn migar ti cayio ni timyi,_ ” he growled. “Come for me, Rose.”

His soft tongue was on me again and he drove me crazy. I fisted the bedspread, arching back in a failed attempt to watch him lick me. Suddenly, he clamped his mouth over my folds and sucked. I cried out, the pleasure too much to bear. The world went white around me as I sobbed and begged him to stop until another wave of pleasure crashed over me and pulled me under, making me tumble and lose orientation. I gladly gave myself up to the feeling.

I was in his arms when I surfaced again. He had moved us to lie beneath the covers, but I was still wearing my dress. When his foot touched my calf I noticed he’d taken off my stockings. “I made a right mess of them,” he whispered, sliding his hand over my bare thigh beneath my skirt. “I’m sorry.”

“You came watching me?” I asked. He hadn’t been in my mind when I crested.

He smiled softly, stroking my cheek. “Yeah. It was brilliant.”

-:-

I lied to him. I was so far gone in my need to retain normalcy for as long as possible that I pretended to have my period. If he saw through me, he didn’t say. He, too, needed the time to adjust to the idea that I was pregnant again. Nevertheless, he made me eat and rest. While he was very supportive about my bookbindery, he knew where to draw to line when I pushed myself too far. He didn't know when to stop himself, driven as he was by his curiosity and guilt. But when it came to me, he didn’t make any allowances. The third period I missed I explained away with the amount of work I had and the change of seasons in Lufana.

The morning sickness came shortly before lunch, while I was at the workshop, and no one noticed anything. I had bought a toothbrush and toothpaste to use in the small bathroom at the back of the shop. One day, after I’d missed my period for the third time and was already agonizing over the next, Giorgia and Anna were early to pick me up for lunch, and Giorgia found me retching over the toilet. She held my hair and stroked my back without comment. She passed me a cup of water and then left so I could clean up.

When I joined them in the workshop, she had found the jar of wooden animals I kept there to keep Anna entertained when she visited. The little girl sat in her favourite spot beneath one of the work benches and set up a farm.

“How long have you known?” Giorgia asked without preamble.

“Twelve weeks,” I said, caught between defiance and teary relief. “And no, I didn’t pee on a stick.”

“Does the Doctor know?” she asked.

That’s when I broke down in tears. “I don’t know,” I sobbed. “If he does he’s hiding it.”

“ _Mamma mia_ ,” Giorgia sighed, guiding me to sit on one of the stools. She held me as I cried. It felt so good to finally be able to talk about my secret. I felt safe in her arms, and I returned the hug. Now that she knew there was no going back. I had to acknowledge the fact too.

I was having another baby.

I felt oddly light at the weight being lifted off me, but at the same time I felt as if the ribbons around my midriff were being tightened.

“How do I tell him?” I asked, gratefully accepting the cup of juice Giorgia gave me.

“Tell him what?” Fenia asked. She had let herself in. I had totally forgotten about her. The three of us often had lunch together in the old town where we’d spend _kitallun_ in the park, playing a quite addictive board game that had turned up at the market in the spring.

Giorgia let go of me.

“I’m pregnant.” There. It felt good to say the words.

“Oh, Rose! How wonderful!” Fenia cried, rushing towards me for a hug. When she stepped away she looked at my still flat stomach. “How far along are you?”

“About three months, but I haven’t had a chance to examine her yet,” Giorgia said. “Nor has the Doctor.”

“He knows.”

I felt faint. Of course he did. How could I insult his intelligence thus? I was so ashamed I started crying again.

“How about I get us some food from Solayia’s? I don’t think today’s a good day for the park,” Fenia suggested.

I nodded, sniffling. The backyard was shady and I had bought a table and a collection of mismatched chairs in case I entertained guests at the shop. “How am I going to tell him?” I asked, looking at Giorgia.

“We’ll think of something,” she said, dropping a kiss onto the top of my head.

-:-

I decided to make a sketchbook for him in which he could record the life of our second child. It was a peace offering, and I debated for a long time whether I should give it to him when I told him or wait and see if he wanted to sketch me at all. His diary from our days in San Girolamo, and inside it the drawings of me when I was pregnant with Jonah, had disappeared, probably somewhere deep inside the TARDIS.

The sketchbook, however, didn’t offer an answer as to how — and when — I was going to tell the Doctor we were having another baby. I was scared of his reaction to what was, I suspected, old news to him. I shouldn’t have kept it from him so long. It had been bad the first time, on the beach, but now it was even worse because I had kept it from him so much longer than I needed to adjust to the idea of carrying another child. I had denied the fact for most of the time. It wouldn’t be long now before I started to show.

He’d never forgive me.

But hadn’t we both agreed to having another baby? I knew I had said yes because I wanted to, despite everything, but all the time I had been so scared he’d only said yes to humour me, to fill a void he thought was inside me but which I knew wasn’t there. I didn’t need a child to be happy.

No, that wasn’t quite right. There _was_ a void, the void Jonah had left behind, the void every beloved person left behind. There were a Mum-shaped, and a Yoru-shaped void inside me as well. This kind of void couldn’t be filled with a baby. Surely, he knew that.

The day I finished the sketchbook, I knew I had to tell the Doctor. The weather had gone from cool and damp to hot and dry in a matter of days, and the mid-day rest was very welcome once more. I hadn’t planned to go home for lunch.

I found him stretched out on our bed, naked and pleasuring himself. He was completely oblivious to the world as he stroked his cock and massaged his balls, arching into his own hands as a stream of Gallifreyan poured over his lips. I held my breath, thinking that I ought to leave. It was such a personal moment, and the times when we pleasured ourselves in front of each other were the most intimate ones we shared apart from _imiyatun_.

“Rose,” he groaned, giving himself a fierce tug, running his fingers over the glistening head of his cock. I knew him well enough to know that just one more stroke would make him come. The tendons in his neck stood out as he strained and arched, and he spilled himself over his stomach with a cry and a few jerks. Then he lay still.

It struck me then that I had rarely seen anything so sexy.

His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to calm his breathing. The Doctor had learned to derive more pleasure from not using his respiratory bypass. He gave himself a few more tugs to tease out the last few drops of sperm. It glistened on his stomach in the slatted light of the shuttered window.

Then he noticed me.

“ _Ngarthu sam_ ,” I croaked, my throat tight with my own arousal.

“Rose.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have watched,” I said, turning to leave. “I’ll get you a flannel.”

He let me clean him up, his eyes following my every move, but he didn’t say anything. I dropped a kiss onto his navel when I was done and tossed the soiled flannel on the floor.

“I want to see you,” he rumbled eventually.

I took off my clothes and sat on the edge of the bed, exactly where I’d sat a few moments ago. He looked at me, cataloguing the changes of my body. I had gained weight since his return from Sammu, and my breasts had begun to fill out too.

“ _Ngarthu sam_ ,” he echoed. Reaching for my hand, he asked, “May I?”

I nodded, and I shuddered as he licked the inside of my wrist. Then he let go of it and plunged two of his fingers into me without warning; I was sitting with one leg tucked under, inviting his touch as I leaned back against the footboard. Still I gasped. When he withdrew his fingers they were glistening with my juices. Watching him had aroused me more than I’d cared to realise. I watched him as he licked his fingers clean, apparently savouring the taste.

“I want to watch you,” he said, pushing himself up onto one elbow and shifting to make room for me on the covers.

I lay beside him and began to touch myself. My legs fell apart as I slipped my fingers inside me and over my clit, conjuring up the image of him masturbating. Suddenly, he pushed my hands aside and rolled on top of me. He was beginning to harden again as he lay between my legs. He reached between us to give himself a few encouraging tugs before entering me. I cried out in surprise and in pain. He hadn’t meant to hurt me, and it wasn’t his fault he did. I had been very tender since the last time we made love, but he didn’t know that.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he growled.

“What?”

“Yeah, what? What is it you can’t tell me? Do I scare you so much that you can’t tell me you’re having our baby?” he said, the words pouring from him as he couldn’t contain them any longer. “What is so awful about it that you can’t tell me, Rose? Hmm? I love you, I love you so much.”

I lay very still, his cock still inside me but beginning to feel less solid.

“Please,” I chocked, tears beginning to pool in my eyes as they were forced out by the tightness in my chest. “Please, Doctor.” I had no idea what I was begging for.

“I’m terrified, Rose,” he said, his own voice constricting now, with anger as well as with fear.

“So’m I,” I whispered. “ _Iyo_.” I cupped his cheek.

He bent to kiss me, and as I opened up beneath his lips he began to plunder my mouth until it became too much and I pushed him away. “I’m sorry, Doctor.”

“Are you so scared of me?”

“No. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh, Rose. Roseroserose,” he whispered, showering my face with kisses. Then he buried his face in the crook of my neck, where he gave me a good lick. “I love your taste when you’re carrying our child.”

He rolled off me and slid his hand to my stomach. I covered his hand.

“Can you see his future?” I asked. It was the one question I had been most afraid to voice.

“I don’t want to see it,” he said. “What good would it do?”

I smiled in relief. “Yeah.”

He freed his hand and touched my temple. “Can I have a peek? I… I want to show you how I feel, and I’m scared of words failing me.”

I leaned in for a kiss. “Sure.”

I closed my eyes as I felt him brush my thoughts with his. I opened one of the most firmly locked doors to him, and he returned the gesture. The joy and terror that flowed into me were overwhelming.

“Why do we always have to make such a mess of things?” he asked, nuzzling my face with his nose as he eased his way out of my mind. He slid his other arm beneath me and his hand came to rest on my breast. I shuddered at the _malialioness_ of his hand.

“We’re still learning,” I said.

“Seems we’re going to have a good teacher from now on.” He slid his hand back to my stomach. “Can we just lie like this?”

Draping my legs over his, I nodded and kissed the tip of his nose. “I’d love to.”


End file.
